Thursday, August 18, 2011

What I'm Reading

Here is one of the books I'm reading.  I actually have 2 or 3 books that I'm juggling but this one here is a gem.  It's Ken Sande's take on Resolving Everyday Conflict.  Sande claims that conflict is not an abnormal thing - it is an expected part of our reality in this fallen world.  What differs is our response to conflict.  We have a certain fallback position that comes naturally to us: typically, it's either fight or flight.  Sande uses the words attack & escape but the idea remains the same.  Whatever you choose to call it, a person will either respond with force (physical, verbal, etc.) or seek to avoid conflict.  Sande says that the Gospel of Jesus Christ promotes a third way: The Way of the Peacemaker.  Jesus said: "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." (Matt. 5:9)  Sande gives four G's to help resolve conflict in a practical manner.  G1: Glorify God.  G2: Get the Log Out.  G3: Gently Restore.  G4: Go and Be Reconciled.  I've found that conflict in the prison ministry setting can be messy.  It's tough to tell the truth without the other person becoming defensive.  Many inmates have fight as their fallback position.  However, they've learned to suppress that urge because they realize fighting will get them in trouble - then they'll end up in "the hole" (solitary confinement).  Instead, they exit the room and choose flight.  That may be better but it is not ideal.  God calls us to Peacemaking not avoidance or peace-faking.  It's not an easy path but it is preferable.  Of course, prayer is absolutely key so that the Spirit will shape us into people who speak the truth in love.

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